End of Deployment and oh...Ironman Hawaii

Here we go. The deployment is almost over. It has been 11 freakin' months. Yikes. I'm so close now that there is more light than tunnel. Much like every other thing I have written on this page, very little planning is going to happen and more of just a big run on sentence/thought on life.

I am really disappointed with myself in keeping up with my website for the past 11 months. I had really planned on making several posts per week with details of life, training, and coping with a spouse deployed overseas; but, here is a big revelation: removing a key figure in the family really increases the work load and stress load for the member not leaving. Even with me being the primary "mom" in this house, the Commander's leaving at least tripled my work load. The early stress of training for Texas solo, the "survivor's" guilt I was giving into with Teegan, and just the fact that I didn't want to sacrifice time with Teegan just to post some BS on a website all led to ...no posting.

I have ZERO male friends within an hour's drive of me. I live on a Marine Corps base. I'm not a one trick pony, but everyone knows that I'm Mr. Mom and THE "triathlete" because they always see me running or riding, but in social situations all they want to do is talk how they wish they could be Mr. Mom... then they turn their backs to talk about all the cool shit they get to blow up and destroy with all their male counterparts. Not so glamorous when you are vacuuming the fucking carpet for the 4th time this week and it's Tuesday is it???

I married my best friend. I've always known. There is a lot of stress in seeing her hurt being away from Teegan and I. It's a no shit job to always be smiling. My world could be spinning out of total control and me just about to freak the fuck out, but when skype rings and I answer... it's my job to smile and not let the facade break. It's hard to have no one to vent my frustrations of life. It probably doesn't help that I listen to all this lamenting lovesong bullshit music but there are so many times throughout the day that every thought I have is of her. I'm not always going to do the right thing or say the right things, but I'll always be around to give the support that she needs.

2011 was really to be the year that I prove to myself that I can kick some ass in Ironman. I was really on track early in the season showing some awesome training numbers and then... well??? Anyway, my racing season is over and there is always next year.

Ironman Hawaii: Race morning they had scales to pre weigh before the race as a comparison for medical post race. 227lbs. Holy Fuck Me! I got on another scale just in case... 227lbs. I guess the pre race dieting didn't work too well. Yikes Ryan this is going to hurt about 18 miles into the run. Good thing I knew that I wasn't or able to really put in a strong effort. I started the race with full intention to give 100% of what my 227lbs body was able to give. I had a goal of wanting to run a 3:15 marathon (that was before knowing what a fatty I had become). I had a IM Hawaii swim PR. I rode the bike easy and rather chatty; If anyone pulled along side and said anything I was ready and in the mood to talk. The run plan was simple: just run 7:25's x 26. I can do that any day of the week...except Saturday 10/8 :( but I was pretty close. I ran with my GPS this time and my actual running was 7:20's for the entire 26 but with stopping at aid stations to "ice" up slowed me down 20sec per mile. Next time I get 6 walks through the aid stations. I get to choose where I take those 6, but I only get 6! Total time for the day was 9:30. Awesome day. I won't be back to Hawaii until I'm over 40 because of moving to Italy so I really enjoyed the last 8 miles running taking in the terrain, scenery, and spectacle of the IM World Champs.

If all of my facebook friends (the real fb friends) could all live in the same town, it would be an awesome place to live!

I truly appreciate the life that I live!

It's unreal to me that in 3 months the Commander, Teegan, and I will be moving back to Naples, Italy and this 11 month deployment will just be a small bump in my life. I am so excited to go back to the place where I think that I truly believe that I started loving life; it didn't happen overnight, or maybe even while I was there but it all clicked. No matter what ever happens la famiglia e' prima... the family is first.

Now back to where this douchebaggery blog is intended...triathlon. 2012 is the new 2011. <--sarcasm. Anyway, Ryan is going under 9 hours in an Ironman in 2012. 55, 4:40, 3:15. I may as well just get that tattooed on my arm for Challenge Roth in July. What is it going to take to get me there besides losing 20 lbs of fat from my ass??? Meet my new coach Team TBB pro Scott DeFilippis. This is the man brave enough to work with a drama queen like me to get me sub 9...good luck Scott. Starting soon and really working my ass off in Italy I (and the Commander) are willing to get me to hit my goal.

I've never had a problem sleeping at night until about 11 months ago.

That's enough for now. Instead of making promises for the future of a set number, when life returns to normal so shall I. I really want to share my experiences of Italy...as well as a sub 9.

Ciao Amici, Ryan