Fire your 6 shooters in the air cowboys because White Hot is headin' to Kona... again!

So there I was in Texas when suddenly an Ironman erupted; I had no choice but to respond by swimming, biking, and running until the Ironman subsided some 140.6 miles later. There were 2.4 miles of swimming in The Woodlands warm but zero visibility lake with 2600 other contestants. I emerged from water some 58 minutes later feeling strong, clear headed, and ready to put a good Texas ass whoopin' on any of them little fellers that could out swim someone of my enormity.

With my head down and my power meter showing a smooth number of watts on the bike, those first 28 miles went smooth and quick. I was making easy work of the other age groupers and female pros heading toward a 26 mile run into destiny when the wilds of Texas decided to challenge my desire for Hawaiian success. Flat front tire coming right into an aid station stocked not only with cold water, but also young impressionable boy scouts dedicating a day to support me. I decided to withhold the use of the most time appropriate words of: MOTHER FUCKER ANOTHER FLAT FUCKING TIRE YOU'VE GOT TO FUCKING SHITTING ME... MOTHER FUCKER! With 3 minutes of controlled and relaxed motion to overcome the stress and fix the flat I stocked up with fresh cold water and was back to pushing watts to recover those lost 3 minutes to the Texas ethos. At 28mph on the flats and pushing a few more watts than would be smart for an event of this distance, I wanted my position at the pointy end of this fight back, Texas decided to again test my will to fight for victory, and also my bike handling skills by throwing one of it's local varmints in my track. Armed with razor teeth and a tenacity to fight to the death (armadillo carcass) I ran over some remnants of bone fragments containing one of the above mentioned razor sharp teeth. At speed the obstacle presented was too strong of a fighter for my front tire and commenced to cut a one inch gash into the sidewall of the tire, thereby fatally disabling the tire... and the rider's sprit! What does a cowboy in Texas do with a steed that has died on the prarie? I stayed with him hoping that by some chance of a miracle there was someway that I could revive him. Well I'll be a sum'bitch! A miracle makin' witch doctor on some fancy lookin' two wheeled contraption shows up and was able to revive my steed with a new front "shoe." Before the new tire and tube could be installed the witch doctor had to get a pair of pliers to remove the varmints razor sharp tooth now imbedded INTO the carbon fiber rim... yes the tooth cut through the rim strip and lodged itself INSIDE of the rim!!!

Trust me when I say that this fightin' cowboy nearly gave up and surrendered to the Ironman enemy. Sitting idle on the prarie with a dead horse while your fellow fighters go chargin past for 12 minutes is a hard demon to overcome. If'n this cowboy's little lady wasn't out in those Arab lands fightin' her own fight I may still be sittin' in that same prarie. Don't ever quit! But it wasn't to be, I knew the results wouldn't be what I wanted but the fight for Hawaii was still happening.

The next 90 minutes were a blur of panic and fear to make up as much time as I could all the while knowing that I am only hurting my chances of a killer run, but I just couldn't get myself under control. I lost my salt tabs in the ordeal and was forced to find ways to add sodium but was still wayyyyyy behind in electrolytes. Knowing I was behind on salt and that I was pedalling too hard my wits finally came around and I pulled the reins in chopped some power. The good ol' Heat and Humidity was starting to roll in too.

The closing miles of the pony show were fast and controlled. Official IM Split 4:58:33 Official Powertap split 4:42:43 (yes I sat on the side of the road for over 15 minutes... on a side note I am going to post my PT power data for the first time at a later point to show different stages of the ride, start, flat, too hard section, relaxed (pre cracking), controlled strong finish)
2 flats within 2 miles at mile 30 sucks! but makes a negative split possible even in strong headwinds.

Running for your life in the Texas heat and humidity becomes a balance of running from your enemies and the heat. The first 15 miles were good miles. I was doing the best that I could do to minimize heat accumulation but a rascal my size is tough to keep cool. Losing my salt on the bike and that "little" 90 minute interval was about to rear it's ugly head just like a big ol' Texas rattler. My body was cookin' and my muscles were burnin' but I was starting to get little twinges of something happening inside those powerful and rippling muscles :) I was feeling strong. My goal was to pick up the pace (heart rate) on the last lap. My legs were feeling strong, the heat was controlled, and I had stayed very controlled on the opening miles of this race. Mile 19 is a hill climb over the water. CRAMP! Every muscle in both legs flexed and vibrated with a vengeance like that rattlers tail. This cowboy was forced to hobble up and over the bridge. After they finally relaxed I was able to run again but with a very very very short and slow stride to minimize the cramping. At mile 21, two cowboys on the same journey trotted on past. I tried to respond. I had the strength and responded with them but sadly those pesky cramps won the battle and I had to let them fellers go into the horizon. Mile 24 was a repeat with two fellas running past but at that point my battle with cramps was about to be lost. It was all I could do to get one leg in front of the other without them locking up. The overall run was fairly successful though, I gained 4 spots overall in the run and was able to mozy out of Texas with my head held high (albeit hobbling), meeting new and inspirational friends, seeing old friends, a 4th place trophy, and a spot to the Ironman World Championship in Kona Hawaii! Run: 3:33:21

It was a great day!
Thanks and congrats to my Homestay Coach Liz
Congrats and well done to fellow Ironman finishers
Brian Brode Triboomer
Kendall the Greyhound
Rachel Little
Mike Thompson (read this story!)
Michael Simpson
Bob onehourironman Schuler
Jeff Dangle the Carrot